Nightshift = Time Travel

So my first weekend on the night shift went swimmingly and passed with little incident. I am enjoying the work immensely. I have done everything from given a quadriplegic a sponge bath to toe tag and prep a recently deceased patient for transport. Its definitely been a huge learning experience and it's been very relieving and refreshing to find out that I'm kinda good it.

You may be wondering why the title of this post was Nightshift = Time Travel. I experienced this odd phenomenon all weekend. It's very strange to get home from work when everyone else is getting up and going to their jobs or to school. This morning I pulled up to park as some of the college kids were setting off to class. It didn't even feel like I had just worked 13 hours. I was almost compelled to eat breakfast and head back out (of course I ate breakfast, but then proceeded to shower and sleep).

While it didn't really feel like I had just worked nearly 40 hours my entire weekend was gone. It was as if I stepped into a time vortex that pushed me from Friday to Monday night. Its almost like Tyler Durden worked in my stead all weekend. Right now I'm awake at 1:30 in the morning and I'm going to do some homework for the online course we have to take. Actually I'm bending the space-time continuum right now, I've been logged onto the course while I blog so I can get closer to the 40 hour "log-in" requirement.

I'm a fucking TIME TRAVELER!

OK, last thing before I take an online test. The two things I'm really coming away with while working this short time in the hospital. There are two "statements" that tumble through my head as I roam the darkened halls of the hospital around 3 AM.

1) Health is wealth

2) Love is fucking awesome

Lets break those down really quickly shall we:

Heath is wealth: My mom always used to say this to us. She was the ultimate expert in such matters, from both sides of the hospital equation. As a nurse for over 30 some years she has probably seen it all. As a cancer survivor and stroke victim she has suffered through it all. Needless to say, my mom is a rock, she is a stubborn bitch that just plows through her ailments. =) Unfortunately, I never really understood what she meant nor took her advice as seriously as I should. I'm sure I suffered from the youthful thoughts of my own immortality.

Thus, being exposed to such sickness and suffering really makes me worry sometimes about my own health and mortality. Since we deal with a lot of cancer patients, I'm still shocked that some nurses go out for smoke breaks. Admittedly, my eating habits seem to be deteriorating by all the eating at odd hours, but hopefully I can keep my diet somewhat healthy.

Oh well, I suppose my message here is, take a look at yourself my dear reader, and make sure you are doing what you can to keep yourself healthy as best you can. The last thing you want to do is end up in the hospital where some guy like me is cleaning you with a soapy wash cloth.

Love is fucking awesome: There are always family members of the patients strutting through the halls of our floor. Some are allowed to sleep in their loved one's room while many stay the night in the family lounges. Husbands, wives, siblings and children, all stick around to help their family get better.

While its gratifying to see the family members around, what strikes me more are the patients that don't seem to ever have any visitors. No, I'm not trying to breakout into some kind of Kodak moment here, but just seeing that loneliness really, really sucks.

I guess all that any of us can really hope for is that when our time is up and it's our turn to start the final journey, that we are surrounded by those who love and care for us.

FYI: In case you were wondering, when I die I want it to be a celebration. No crying or no somber black attire (unless its a really sexy black dress or suave suit you've been wanting to rock). I want it to be a celebration of how I lived and how stupid I was. Also, I wanted to be cremated like a Viking king. I want a 20 foot Dragon boat filled with Gold Coins (the chocolate kind of course), Swords and Weaponry (plastic knives can be used if no Toledo Blades are available) and my favorite ales and spirits (Hypnotic and Pineapple Orange juice).

If there isn't isn't an ocean, river or lake nearby in which to release this burning flotilla, then do this instead. I'll be cremated at the morgue but at the service, everyone will be given a small paper boat and a small paper pouch with some of my ashes.

Each person can then take said boat and pouch to their home. From there, each person can perform a Viking funeral ceremony in the comfort of their own bathroom. Place the pouch into the boat and gently drop into the toilet. Courageously light the boat aflame while playing "The Ride of the Valkyries".

Don't worry, I won't haunt your house. Though, I may tickle your butt whenever you go number 2.




Sorry...I must still be delirious