Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The First Big Decision of 2009

Well folks, we've come to the crux of the matter. I've put it off long enough. In a few days I will have to finalize my decision. No regrets. No hesitation. It must be done. We all may look back upon this day, and remember it as the turning point of the year...or blame it as the day it all went very, very wrong.

What is this HUGE decision that I must make?


That's a drumroll...get it? It also comes with eel if you want.


I need to figure out...WHAT HAIR STYLE SHOULD I ADOPT?

I know, I'm sure you all thought I was about to weigh in on the federal economic stimulus and bailout plans. Don't worry, I have Barack on speed dial and I'll give him my 2 cents as soon as I mediate my personal coiffure crisis.

As many of you may know, I've had the relatively the same hair cut for the past, oh...3 decades. It has just pretty much just changed in length. So, don't expect anything too crazy...like a beehive or for me to suddenly get extensions.

Thus, here is my dilemma. What the F should I do with my hair now? There seem to be an abundance of weddings approaching in May...so I don't really want to shave my head yet. I do plan to escape the summer heat and humidity by sheering off all my lovely locks by mid June.

In case you were wondering, during the Midwestern summer humidity, my hair acts like a motorcycle helmet. Check that, it acts like a Buckingham Palace Grenadier Guard Helmet, over a a motorcylce helmet, with fuscia ear muffs.

Not a pretty picture. Not to mention a very sweaty head!

Right now its somewhat in the intermediate stage. It hasn't gotten to the point, as Joyce called it, where my hair is "eating my face", but it may get there soon. Thus, I've pretty much narrowed it down to two possible hairstyles.
OPTION 1: I can continue to grow it out and rock the BAMA BANGS (here to fore named after numerous Southern boys who rock this cut, aka Alabama Bangs).


Granted, my hair would be black...unless I get a vat of peroxide. But, I just wanted to have contrast for EMPHASIS.

I'm not quite sure if my hair will actually lay down like that. Its been cooperative so far.

OPTION 2: I can pretty much do what I've been doing, just BIGGER! How about a really tall DRAGONBALL Z SPIKY FRO?


Wait...this actually looks more like Edward Scissorhands

Crap, its 2:30 am so I probably won't be able to make up my mind tonight. More than likely I'll end up cutting my hair shorter cuz it will get muggy outside. I guess my steelo will have to be a work in progress. Stay tuned for my future follicle follies.

Oh, real quick recommendation. Check out In Bruges if you can. Its a fun, but sickly dark comedy. Definitely put a ring on it.


I put a Class Ring on it in honor of all the 2009 graduates!

SLTFMM

You are sweet on the tip of my tounge
You are warm like the rays of the sun

"Sweet Like Chocolate" by Shanks & Bigfoot





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