Back to the Clash. There are a couple folks who's movie opinion I trust - since they do mirror mine a bit - so I assume that Clash is worth seeing and that I'll enjoy myself. I have a bit of a man crush on Sam Worthington anyways, so this movie is pretty much a "must-see" for me.
During a lengthy phone conversation with a friend the subject of movie watching came up. I don't think it would be a great surprise to most of you dear readers out there that I don't really like doing things by myself. Whether it be going to get groceries, going to the mall, going to get something to eat and most appropriately to this blog - going to a movie.
Of all of those typical activities I've listed, the one I really haven't done yet is go to the theater by myself (and yes I pronounce "theater" funny, just ask Josephine). SIDE NOTE: I've never eaten at a non-fast food restaurant by myself yet either, but that's not too odd I presume.
There was one occasion that I did venture to the movie theater by myself with the full intention of seeing a movie sans any companion. Lets step into the Reset Button time machine and relive that fateful moment:
It was late January in the year of our Lord 2004. The weather was unseasonably warm, even for Southern California. The birds were chirping and a light breeze was gently moving the fronds of the palm trees in the parking lot. I squinted in the sun as I wheeled my car around to find a good parking space.
I hadn't brought my prescription sunglasses since the Edwards Marketplace 10 Theaters were about 400 yards from my house. In hind sight, I probably should have walked, but fuck it, global warming isn't real (Just don't tell anyone who may have lived on New Moore Island).
It was a ground breaking moment for me, for that day I would break one taboo that I had furiously held firm to: Thou shalt not go to the movie theater alone.
My actions that day was to signal a new dawn of my movie going activities. No longer would I have to wait until the DVD came out because no one would go to a movie with me. That day, was the supposed to signal my evolution!
Alas, the universe conspired against me.
The movie that was to celebrate my emancipation was quite fittingly, Cold Mountain. You see, none of my friends or roommates wanted to see this movie. Presumably because it was a historical period piece set during the American Civil War...and there wasn't any slap-stick beer drinking or gratuitous boobie shots.
You see, Cold Mountain is about a man's trek towards freedom and a woman's journey towards self discovery. By going to a movie alone, I was also becoming a man who sought freedom, and a woman seeking self discovery. Err...wait, that didn't sound quite right.
That silhouette is actually me trying to find someone to go to the movie with. Hello? Is anyone out there? It's supposed to be a really good movie. It won some awards and shit.
Yet, my desire for self discovery and authority over my movie watching fate was thwarted! Apparently, even though the movie had already been in the theaters for nearly a month quite a few folks still wanted to see it (evidently this cohort didn't include any of my friends).
I had lollygagged on my way to the theater and arrived a few minutes late. I entered the already dark theater expecting to see row upon row of empty seats beckoning me into their warm, carpet like cushioned, embrace. But what did I find?
A theater nearly packed to capacity! What the hell were these people doing in there? What gall they had to come and ruin my alone time with Cold Mountain! I scanned the stadium seating looking for a break in the crowd. I searched for an empty section but could find nothing! Even the craptastic seats up front and nearly under the screen were all but taken.
Now, I would be remiss if I didn't disclose that there were a few seats open. But these were single seats, between couples or large groups of old people. Now, don't get me wrong, I bear no grudges against couples or old people, but I wasn't about to expose my "aloneness".
Its one thing to be in a near empty theater alone. People could see you and maybe think: "Damn, that sucks, his date totally stood him up" which may help me get a pity date or something. Or they may think: "Damn, he must have gotten into a big fight with his super model girlfriend and she went home". I'm pretty sure that's what people would think anyways.
But to wedge myself into a single seat without acknowledging that I know either person on both sides of me? No, I shall not!
Long story short, I turned tail and left like a beaten dog. I did tell the theater manager I had to leave unexpectedly and he gave me a free ticket to use later (which I did when I went with a group to a later movie).
So, much like Jude Law in Cold Mountain ***spoiler alert*** I didn't get my freedom.
Why do I bring all of this up now? Well, a friend challenged me to watch a movie by myself. And it may happen with Clash of the Titans. Most of the folks here that want to see it have already gone so it would be just by myself.
But...I am going to my parent's house next week for my dad's birthday and my brother hasn't seen it yet so...
(In a TV announcer voice): Will Boy Gaga go see a movie by himself? Or will he continue to scrounge up someone to go to movies with him or wait for it on DVD? Tune in next week, same Reset Button time, same Reset Button channel.
One last note, even if I hate the movie Clash of the Titans (I have fond memories of the original one so we'll see), there is one thing I will take from it moving forward.
Right before I "drop off kids at the pool" I will now yell:
RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
Yes, that is the O.G. Kraken from the original Clash of the Titans and not my real poop. I mean sometimes my poop looks like that after a Chipotle burrito, but not usually.
LOL! You should really try to watch a movie by yourself. It's not bad at all. Kind of refreshing actually.
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